Shadowed Destiny
by Lessa of Ruatha
Summary: i'm baaaaaaaaaaack! new chapter! lily discovers raven's past and a deadly secret raven's been hiding. also poll results! read and review people!
1. The Beginning

Shadowed Destiny

Chapter 1: The Beginning

by Lessa of Ruatha

AN: this story is part-challenge by a friend of mine. she said that i couldn't write a fic that didn't bash the inners (aka minako and rei) and mamoru. i decided to prove her wrong. yeah it is a little bloody and gore-y, and the deaths are described a bit much, but that's just how i wrote it. okay? read away!

Bodies littered the battlefield that had once been Juuban High School. The school itself was in shreds, all of the different attacks rendering it a huge pile. Shouts could be heard, of both onlookers and attacks.

Chaos was gone, destroyed, vanquished to the deepest depths of the hells of every dimension. But, somehow, even in defeat, he managed to prove himself trouble. Just as he was banished, the beings which the senshi had taken to calling the shinokage had appeared. Though they had no names, the senshi had given them them. Hageshisa. Hakai. Gekido. Iyashii [1]. Four beasts, shadow-creatures, that it seemed, were impossible to kill.

Moon and Pluto were the only senshi on the scene. Because they were the only ones left. All the others had been killed.

Tuxedo Kamen had been the first casualty to the war. In fact, he had never participated in the war with the shinokage. Chaos had managed to bind his lifeforce to that of the Earth Prince, thinking the senshi would never be able to kill Endymion. Mamoru had summoned his Sword of Endymion and stabbed himself in the heart, taking Chaos with him. In his last moments, his eyes had been only for the small girl that had wept bitter tears over the man she had loved, and sworn revenge on the darkness. One Tsukino Serena, who it could be said was no longer so innocent.

Sailor Venus had been the next to die, and the only other to die out of something despite combat. She had gone not even a week after Mamoru. Foolishly, perhaps, she had been trying to tap Ainosei's [2] powers, hoping to boost her own. Instead of channeling the power she had received through her henshin rod, she had simply pulled it into her being. With a sound that haunted Serena's nightmares still, she had exploded in a flare of light that blinded everyone. When it was gone, so was Aino Minako. And the senshi knew that she was gone, that the energy had vaporized her body.

Sailors Mars and Neptune were the next to go. Hageshisa had cornered them during one of the attacks by all four of the shinokage. Desperately, flames and water had intermingled to try and halt Hageshisa, momentarily stun it so they could get out. For running was their only option. It hadn't worked. Their deaths had been violent, blood spilled over the pavement, limbs torn at all angles, every part of their bodies disfigured. Hino Rei and Kaiou Michiru had been killed.

It was easy to say that Sailor Uranus had not been pleased at the death of her lover. Before they had even known she had disappeared, Tenou Haruka had set out to find the shinokage. The senshi had long since learned that the shinokage could locate them when they transformed or used their planet power. Haruka had powered up, past all the regular stages, her anger fueling her. She had come to something the senshi had later called pure planet power. Sailor Uranus didn't exist anymore. There was only Uranus, who had sole control over the winds and sands, able to tap the very power of Tenousei. Gekido had been the one to find her, likely because of her emotions and the connection. From what the senshi had presumed, the fight had been one-sided. Haruka had been found not long after her death, not a mark on her. The creepiest thing was the look of pure terror on her face. That, too, still haunted Serena's nightmares.

Kino Makoto's death had probably been the worst. She had fought Iyashii, and it was because of her death that it had been given that name. The remaining senshi had found what Haruka had, the pure planet power. Jupiter had called down the lightnings to trap Iyashii. It had been reflected. When her body had been found, it was only because of the henshin rod in her hand that they knew who it was. The lightnings had electrocuted her system, and the electricity had burned her skin horribly. Her clothes had been shredded, the proud senshi uniform burned beyond all recognition. She was presumed another civilian until the senshi had said differently.

Mizuno Ami and Tomoe Hotaru had been the true sacrifices in the war. Mercury had called up spears, shards really, of ice, that looked like daggers as they hovered in midair, awaiting her commands. Back-to-back with Saturn, the hair on the back of her neck rose when the younger girl had summoned the very essence of death, imbuing it inside the shards. Both girls had then done what Minako had tried to do, though they succeeded where she had failed. They had called their planet powers, using their henshin rods as focal points for the intricate complexity they were performing. They had then let go. Mercury had let the shards fly as they let raw power burst from their henshin rods to strike the shinokage. They had been like Minako, the energy burning their bodies away.

But even then, their deaths had not killed Tsukino Serena. She had forced herself to pull together, not only for herself, but for the only two remaining people that she loved. Setsuna had been one. The other had been Furuhata Motoki. It was his death that had plunged her into a dark depression.

The last thing Mamoru had told her before he had passed was to move on, to find someone else to love her. The senshi had agreed wholeheartedly. Her magic was powered by her love for the others, and she needed the stability of a relationship to balance her stress. Motoki had always been a dear friend, and with Mamoru's death, he had been there when the senshi had not. He had been the one to comfort her when she cried, to talk to her when she woke screaming with nightmares and couldn't fall back asleep. Things she couldn't remember Mamoru ever doing. Slowly but surely, she had fallen for the blonde man, and he had reciprocated her feelings tenfold. He had listened to her, appreciated what she said, asked her opinion on nonsense things that had given her a feel of normalcy. Something she had always wanted but had never attained.

His death had been the worst, probably because he couldn't fight back. Though he had joined all of the senshi in their created combat classes -really only martial arts and sword fighting with Haruka- but without magic, he had been easily a target. Setsuna had even tried to petition the Higher Ones to grant him some form of magical protection. They had refused, so Serena had turned to the only remaining way.

Tsuki-jinns themselves weren't much for bloodshed, war, or fighting. Oh, they would attend the Arenas of Mars, and their armies were larger than those of Jupiter, and they were easily as deadly as the swordfighters of Uranus, but they themselves never cared to kill. So it had been known that sometimes the Royal Family would fall in love with someone who had no Tsuki-jinn magic. The old marriage ceremonies had changed that.

Under a full moon, Serena and Motoki had been joined together by Tsuki-jinn ceremony. Together, under the moonlight, they had both bathed in the small spring of crystal water. Once done, they had dressed in pure white. Setsuna had chanted the ancient words, repeated the incantations meant to protect the chosen ones. Their palms had been slashed with the ceremonial dagger Setsuna had produced, and their blood fell to the ground as their hands met. The two silver rings had been exchanged. And under the moonlight, Motoki had become the royal consort, and a child of the moon.

But he hadn't had enough time to learn his magic. Not even a month after they had married, the shinokage had found him. He had been found, like Haruka, without a mark except for the look of terror on his face. Neither of the remaining senshi had known what he had faced, and they were not sure they wanted to.

That had been the last straw. Serena had lost all her senshi but one, and both of the men she had loved. Plotting her vendetta on the murderers of her husband and her sisters, she and Setsuna had disappeared into Tokyo, and had stopped using their magic unless they were in mortal danger.

Meiou Setsuna was beyond desperate. She could _feel_ the dark energy congregating, and willed herself to focus on the images she received from the Time Gates. Suddenly, it was as if someone was watching her. She cursed under her breath as she prepared to teleport back to the real world. Out of the glimpse of her eye, she saw the image she needed, and with a triumphant yell, she was gone. She could rarely visit nowadays, for it seemed the shinokage had learned to track that, too.

Setsuna appeared outside of a small house and quickly entered. Once inside, Setsuna wasn't surprised to see that Serena was staring at the shrine,' as Setsuna had taken to calling it. Because the henshin rods had been created by the gods, even though their chosen were dead, the rods had never been destroyed. Also there was Endymion's sword, and the three talismans of the deceased Outer Senshi. The ring Motoki had worn after the marriage was also there, as were the twin daggers that had been his gift from the ghosts of the Royal Family. Beside those were the few possessions Serena had managed to take after their deaths. The Mercury computer; one of Rei's old scrolls; the cookbook Makoto had started to write; Minako's Sailor V mask. But the things that always caught her eye were the two cat collars -one black, one white- that had belonged to Luna and Artemis. The advisors had leapt in front of an attack meant to kill Serena. They had sacrificed themselves, laid down their lives to protect their princess. That had been another strike to the heart for Serena, and another thing she had cried over with Motoki's arms around her.

But she no longer had that.

"Hime-chan?" Setsuna called softly.

Serena turned her head to look at her through dull blue eyes. Her hair hung limply around her. She said nothing.

"I have seen what must be done" Setsuna braced herself. "You must leave Japan."

Serena couldn't summon the energy to protest. She nodded simply. Standing up at Setsuna's gesture, she made her way over to the floor-length mirror they had found somewhere.

"We will have to change your appearance" explained Setsuna.

Serena felt a single tear slide down her cheek when her beautiful, long hair that she was so proud of was cut off an inch below her shoulders. Her appearance was already trying to become Cosmos once more, even with Setsuna still alive. Every day she could see more silver streaks, and every day the silver flecks in her once sky-blue eyes grew larger. Setsuna nodded to herself, that was good enough. No one could even connect this person to being Tsukino Serena, simply because no one had seen Tsukino Serena since she had undergone this change.

"Setsuna." The voice made her stop as she turned away.

"Hime-chan?" Setsuna couldn't help but hope, perhaps, the depression had broken.

"Tattoos" Serena's voice was flat, and hoarse from disuse.

"Pardon?"

"On my back" Serena continued in that same voice. "One for each senshi. One for each man I loved. Their planet symbols, their family crests."

Setsuna's hopes crashed. The depression, it seemed, was only beginning. "Of, course, hime-chan" she waved a hand over the girl's head. Lines converged on the girl's back, forming each of the senshi crests [3]. "And for the mortal?" she didn't want to hurt Serena more by giving the name of the second man she loved.

"Kunzite's mark" she said flatly. "He was, in all essence, Kunzite."

Setsuna nodded once more. A last mark appeared, on the back of Serena's neck. She summoned her Garnet Rod to her. Pressing the tip to Serena's forehead she murmured something.

Serena's eyes glazed over. A few moments after Setsuna stepped back, she blinked rapidly.

"First, I gave you the knowledge of how to speak, read, and write English" Setsuna answered the unvoiced question. Setsuna waved a hand at the few belongings Serena had managed to save, as well as the few sets of clothes. Instantly, all appeared in a dufflebag. The components of the shrine were placed gently into another one, which she made sure the blades couldn't cut through. Setsuna also pulled a small golden key from inside her subspace pocket and but it in the bag. "You will be spending the rest of the summer in England, with your mother's cousin and her family. Your story is that there was a fire that killed your family hence the fact you have so few belongings and you will be living with the Evans' until my house in England is finished. Your name is Raven Aurora Thompson, your parents were Ilene Elizabeth and Kenneth Gregory Thompson. Your brother was Samuel Michael Thompson. And there is one other thing; your second-cousin, their daughter Lily, is a witch. You may or may not be asked to attend her school, I haven't foreseen that far. The final fact of the matter is that the family you are staying with, save Lily, canNOT know about your magic. _Especially_ your second-cousin Petunia. She must trust you."

Serena nodded staring in the mirror.

"What is your name?" Setsuna began the interrogation, making sure Serena remembered her story.

"Raven Aurora Thompson."

"Who were your parents and brother?"

"Ilene Elizabeth, Kenneth Gregory, and Samuel Michael Thompson."

Such went on for about an hour, until Setsuna was positive that, for lack a better term, Tsukino Serena was dead and Raven Thompson was alive. "Now" she nodded. "I have sent a letter through time, so they received it yesterday. They are expecting you." She pointed the key end of her staff at the wall and a portal appeared. "They are house number 21."

And the newly-named Raven walked through Japan and into England. She stumbled, blinking. Hear it seemed to be around dinnertime. Shaking her head as she took in the changes, she quickly found house 21 because ... it was right in front of her. Walking up, she knocked on the door, trying not to shiver in the chill. She had been wearing only a pair of loose, drawstring pants and a tank top.

A woman opened the door. She had wavy brown hair that had been pulled back into a bun. Her warm brown eyes looked at Raven curiously. She was somewhat short and plump, giving her a very matronly appearance. Suddenly, comprehension dawned in her eyes. "You must be Raven, then" she quickly ushered the startled girl into the house. "Jonathan! Girls! Raven's here!"

At the entrance into what Raven guessed was the dining room, a man appeared. He was tall, with dark red hair and cerulean eyes. Two girls also poked their heads around. The younger one, who looked about Raven's age, had her father's red hair and emerald green eyes, and was a little short. The other, who seemed a few years older than Raven, was tall for her age, and had brown hair and dark brown eyes.

"My husband Jonathan" she said, gesturing to the man. "And our daughters Lily and Petunia. And I'm Rose. Rose Evans."

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1 - shinokage means shadow of death,' hageshisa means violence, hakai means destruction, gekido means rage, and iyashii means despicable. i think.

2 - i read somewhere that the japanese names for the planets were these. i dunno if that's right or not, though.

3 - no, this is not just their planet symbols. for the girls, its the symbols in their crystal hensin rods. mars; flaming arrow and mars, mercury; harp and mercury, jupiter; wreath and jupiter, and so on. mamoru is the earth symbol and rose. kunzite is the earth symbol with two swords crossed behind it.


	2. Truths and Lies

Shadowed Destiny

Chapter 2: Lies and Truths

by Lessa of Ruatha

AN: sorry about the wait. i kind of got a half-a-dozen ideas for a million different fics and i was waaaaaay overwhelmed. and i have been back home for three days now and i love it! alright. just so you know, I'M NOT SUICIDAL NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN! this chapter has cutting and mentions of suicide. and just so everyone knows RAVEN WILL BE GOING TO HOGWARTS AND GET INTO SLYTHERIN b/c the poll went that way. though many fics seem to do that, i let you choose and i'll try to keep it original. that said, read on, oh-great-readers.

star-kitten: yeah, the whole thing started when they were thirteen, k? mamoru and serena were 13-14, and motoki and serena were together while she was 14-15. there was time between. and in the next few chapters, they probably will.

LadyKatherine16: yeah, it's in the MPPW era. thanks for the praise (offers LadyKatherine16 boxes of homemade cookies) and while i don't know about rebirth, each senshi will have major spots in the story.

RTD-Jupiter: read the above note to LadyKatherine16. and thank you for giving me an honest opinion of my story. and despite what you think, it really is advice and has given me a few ideas on what to do with the fic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raven Aurora Thompson stared at herself in the mirror. Her hair was the first thing that caught her attention. It used to shine with the gold of the sun. Now it was pure silver with only a few thick streaks of gold in it. Eyes that had once been the blue of the sky, were now liquid silver with a line of blue at the edges. Skin that used to be tanned was pale, bleached by moonlight instead of darkened by sunlight.

But what drew her attention the most was the thin lines scattered along her upper left arm. Cuts, scars, scabs; they were all the same. All there from the same purpose. In her right hand she held a dagger. An identical one sat on the ledge beneath the mirror. It was no ordinary set of blades. No, they were the Blades of Moonlight, the gift of the Lunarian Royal Family to Motoki on the night they were wed by Lunarian ceremony. Her eyes closed and she took a shuddering breath as she brought the dagger to her skin again, the night fresh in her mind.

__

Flashback

"Are you ready?" it was her voice. Serena's. She called her Serena because she was Raven. Raven was not Serena. Not anymore. Serena was the innocence she no longer had, the happiness that had left her with all the deaths.

"I love you" a voice that nearly made her weep. A voice full of love and devotion. Motoki's.

"During the ritual you will be unable to speak" a third voice she recognized. An ageless voice, that spoke of wisdom unknown to mortal man. Setsuna's. "Only during your vows may words pass your lips. Understood?" The senshi herself was not dressed like any they had ever seen before. She wore an outfit similar to Rei's miko robes. The top was a dark green, the color of a darkened forest, and the wide pants were pure black, the color of night. Her green hair was woven back into a tight braid, then up onto a coronet on top of her head.

Two nods answered her.

She nodded to them, then she walked away, toward the spot just before the tree line they had chosen for the vows.

Serena took a deep breath, glancing at Motoki. She forced herself not to blush and she slowly divested herself of the rough robe Setsuna had given them. Not speaking to Motoki, as they were not allowed, she walked slowly toward the lake of crystal water. As soon as it touched her feet, she shuddered. She knew it was supposed to be cold. Setsuna had said that pure crystal water -the last remnants of the moon's Lake of Serenity- was as cold as ice. But this was colder. She glanced back at Motoki, and felt a rush of love for him. She managed a small smile before walking into the water, up to her waist. It took all she had not to scream.

Motoki saw it written on her face. As he entered the water, he too was jolted by the coldness of the water. He made his way out to Serena, forcing himself to gaze solely at her face. A foot apart now, they watched each other.

Serena bit her lip, watching Motoki through her lashes. Sighing, she began to softly splash the water over arms, stomach, chest. She rubbed it in, feeling the minerals in the water slowly warm her chilling limbs. Glancing at Motoki, she could see him doing the same thing. Taking a deep breath, she ducked under, letting her hair float around her.

As she came up, she could see Motoki waiting for her. Side by side, shoulders brushing but not quite touching, they made their way out of the water. Laid on the grass were the clothes they would wear for the rest of the ritual. Serena pulled on the long white shirt. It was loose on her slender frame, falling off her shoulder and stopping mid-thigh. Motoki pulled on the loose pants, also a pure white. That done, they made their way to Setsuna.

Without words, the senshi of Time directed them to stand face to face, about three feet apart. Setsuna walked in a slow circle around them, placing small stones of the wet grass. She was chanting something under her breath. As she completed three circles around Motoki and Serena, she turned to where the full moon hung in the sky and bowed. Returning her focus to her hime and her hime's love, Setsuna stood just outside the circle.

Serena looked at every stone closely. Briefed by Setsuna, she knew what each was and what its point in the ceremony was. Pearl. Opal. Gold. Ruby. Quartz. Bloodstone. Diamond. Silver. Tiger's Eye. Copper. Cat's Eye. And beyond that, a ring of clear crystals, all equidistant from each other. Hearing Setsuna clear her throat, she snapped her head around to the Time Guardian.

"This ceremony is of ancient magick, from a time when Earth was nothing but a mere thought in the minds of the Gods" began Setsuna. "In those long ago times, it was used by the Gods to bind them throughout their lives, to make alliances and keep enemies enshrouded. For thousands of years after the Fall, it was used by naught save the Lunarians. The Children of the Moon, original descendants of the Gods." She permitted a small smile to grace her face as she looked at Serena, a small crack in what had given the image of a composed saint. "Do you, Princess Serenity XVII of the Moon, understand what will happen if you complete this ceremony?"

"Yes" replied Serena, a small quaver in her voice.

"Are you aware of what will happen if the Family refuses to accept your choice of husband?" Setsuna's voice was emotionless.

"Yes" Serena forced herself to be clear.

"Do you understand what happens in this ceremony?"

"Yes" Serena's voice was firm, a look of determination gracing her elfin features.

Setsuna inclined her head, surveying the girl. Finally she nodded, once, in obvious acceptance. Then she turned to Motoki. "Do you, Motoki of Earth, understand what is happening here today?" she demanded of him.

Motoki swallowed deeply. "Yes" his voice a bit hoarse.

"Are you aware, that you, Bloodless, are likely to be rejected by the Family, and what will happen if you are?" Setsuna's voice was hard as rock.

Motoki's face was pale, but set. "Yes" he said firmly.

"Do you understand that through this marriage, you will become a Child of the Moon, and the next King?" Setsuna stared at him, eyes narrowed.

"Yes" he ground out, body tensed, waiting for what may come.

Once again, Setsuna studied him, taking in everything. And once again, she inclined her head slightly. "Does any of the Family object to this marriage of Blood to Bloodless?" she asked to thin air.

The ring of crystals flashed, white lights connecting the ring. Slowly, the lines of light formed a dome around Serena and Motoki. Inside it, the two stared at each other, both frightened and unwilling to admit it. Setsuna had said NOTHING about this. Serena gasped as the dome closed over them, a feeling of warmth washing through her. Motoki's eyes shut as he felt the peaceful feeling envelop him too.

Then, just as suddenly as it had appeared, the dome vanished. The light connecting the stones receded as well, though they continued to shine brightly.

"The spirits of the Family raise no objections" Setsuna's voice was awed in spite of herself. Though she hadn't confided her fears to the couple, she knew there was a good possibility that Motoki wouldn't be accepted. After all, he was Bloodless, meaning he had no royal blood in him. "Then so shall the ceremony begin." She shook herself, pulling a silver knife from her sleeve. She offered it first to Serena.

Hand shaking a little, Serena accepted the knife. "As Princess Serenity XVII of the Moon, I offer my lifeforce" she locked eyes with Motoki as she drew the blade against her right palm. She hissed in pain, but made no move to stop the flow of blood.

Setsuna took the knife, wiping it off, before handing it silently to Motoki. "As Motoki of Earth, I offer my lifeforce" he repeated, slicing the knife across his left palm. He winced in pain, but likewise made no move to staunch the blood flow.

Setsuna accepted the knife, tucking it back into her robe. From the other sleeve, she pulled a handful of strings.

Having been told what to do, Serena placed her hand before her, palm facing Motoki. He did the same with his hand, so there was a few inches of air between their bleeding palms.

"Yellow for awareness" incanted Setsuna, tying the string around their pinkies. She continued to tie the four other colored strings to their fingers, and then one string that bound their wrist. "Blue for longevity. Orange for strength. Red for passion. Black for protection. White for peace."

Serena stared at the colored strings that connected her hand and wrist to Motoki's. As she watched, wide-eyed, they sank into skin, leaving colored lines on their fingers. Her hand and Motoki's clasped tightly, the cuts sharing blood. Compelled to do so, she looked up at Motoki, her free hand caressing his cheek. His warm green eyes met hers, as he pulled her up and their lips met in an explosive kiss. A feeling of pure joy sufficed in Serena, and she could feel it echoed in him.

Hearing Setsuna clear her throat brought them back to the present. Both blushed heavily, but Setsuna only chuckled and shook her head, and pointed her head at their hands. They looked, and gasped. The lines were gone, now they each clasped a shining silver ring. With a small giggle, Serena slid she ring she had on Motoki's ring finger. He did the same as she. On each ring was an inscription in the Old Language, which they were unable to read.

A pair of daggers appeared in front of Motoki. The blades were silver, nearly ten inches long. There were etchings on them in the Old Language as well. The hilts were white stone, with a pattern of sapphires and crystal. The tips of the daggers curved slightly, both bearing the mark of the Royal Family. Motoki knew, without being told, just knew_that these were his weapons, gifted to him by the Family._

"And now, by Lunarian ceremony, we welcome Princess Serenity XVII, and her husband, Lord Motoki, to the Realms of Life" whispered Setsuna, finishing the blessing and ceremony.

End Flashback

A stinging pain in her arm brought Raven back to reality. Her eyes widened as she looked down at her arm. It was bleeding crimson blood profusely. She had cut deeper than she intended to. But for a few minutes she simply stared as her blood turned the sink bowl a dark red. She closed her eyes once more. It gave her a feeling of taking her life into her own hands, not leaving it up to the Fates, the Gods, or anyone else. Destiny and duty had ruled her life for as long as she could remember, both in this life and her last one. It was a release of the pain in her world.

Finally, she began to get a little dizzy. She dropped the dagger on the ledge, the loud clatter it made unnoticed to her. She stared at the jagged cut that started below her inner shoulder and followed several smaller scars to wind nearly halfway down her upper arm. With a sigh of almost regret, she pulled a fluffy hand towel from the rack, pressing it tightly to the cut. She sighed again, leaning against the wall, still holding tight. Energy leaving her body, she slumped down the wall, landing slowly on her knees.

About twenty minutes later her eyelids fluttered. Someone was banging on the door. Her eyes widened and she brought her free hand to her mouth when she remembered what happened. A silent scream tore from her lips.

"Raven, you fall in?" It was Lily on the other side.

Raven opened the door a crack and looked out. Lily was there, hand raised to knock again, dressed in her pajamas.

"There you are!" Lily's voice was cheerful. "Mum said bed as soon as your done whatever. I already snagged some cookies from the kitchen." Lily looked closely at her cousin. "Raven? You alright? You look really pale. Getting sick?"

Raven shook her head.

"Alright" Lily looked unconvinced, but left anyway.

Closing the door once more, Raven leaned against the wall again. Mentally she cursed herself over and over. Lily would have gone postal if she'd seen the cut. Lily doesn't understand' she realized. Though she had only known her cousin for two weeks, she had come to care for her greatly, as she had loved Shingo. A sister-sister bond that, it seemed, Lily and Petunia didn't have. She doesn't understand pain, or evil. She's so innocent.' And that thought made Raven feel very old.

She stumbled back to the sink, quickly washing the blood off. She stared at her reflection again. But for some reason, all she saw was a blank mirror. She backed away from it, dropping the towel to the floor. She reasoned with herself, trying to calm her frayed nerves. She was just tired, and dizzy.

And not altogether sane' she thought darkly, a weak chuckle escaping her lips.

She quickly wrapped the daggers in the towel, placing them in the small case Mrs Evans had bought her. It was supposed to be a makeup bag. It wasn't used as one. She critically studied the long cut in her arm. It had begun to scab over, and she knew that it had already started to heal. She winced though. That was a little too close. And it meant she would have to avoid that part of her arm until it was reasonably healed. With one last look at the mirror, she pulled down the sleeve of her loose shirt, and left the bathroom. And that was the last thought she had of the cut for a while.

A week later, Lily wasn't a happy camper. "Stupid Petunia" she grumbled, absently swatting the wall. "Had to make a big deal " her mutterings continued as she did her chores. Currently, the laundry. She emptied the huge bag that contained hers, Petunia's, and Raven's on the table. She began tossing all the light-colored shirts in the washing machine. She frowned when she saw an odd-looking, reddish-brown stain on one of the shirts, a prickling sensation hitting the back of her neck. Not quite sure why it was bothering her so much, she tossed it into the washing machine. The bad feeling returned when she saw half-a-dozen shirts with the same color stains. Finally, a really bad feeling enveloped her when she picked up another shirt.

She looked at it curiously. It was an old shirt of hers, a huge gray and white button-down, that Raven slept in a lot. The sleeves were twisted together and then tucked into the shirt. She sighed, and set to work pulling them out and untwisting them. She raised a hand to her mouth as she saw the large stain on the left sleeve. And she finally realized what it was. Blood.

The shirt fell from her numb fingers to rest on the floor. She stared at it, horrified. Raven did Raven do that? To _herself?!_ Anger began to mix with the shock and horror, giving her a rush of adrenaline she'd never felt before. Deciding it was the time for answers, Lily left the clothes out, chore half-done, as she sprinted up the stairs to her bedroom, which she and Raven shared. When she rethought it later, she would be glad her parents were out shopping and Petunia was at a friend's house. For right now, she could've cared less.

The door was thrown open, and, as she expected, Raven was sitting by the window, her fingers barely touching the glass. _A very poetic scene,_ thought Lily dispassionately. At the loud entrance, Raven's head snapped around, looking oddly at Lily.

Lily marched over to her cousin, face a mask of horror, anger, confusion, and helplessness. A look of puzzlement crossed Raven's features. Lily reached out and with a mighty yank, tore the sleeve from the long-sleeved shirt Raven was wearing.

"Explain" her voice was hard and emotionless.

Raven stared at her, unnerved. Her right hand came up to cover the large cut, which had already completely scabbed over and begun healing. But Lily yanked it down. She sat down on the edge of the bed and pinned Raven with a glare. "Now. Talk."

Raven continued to stare at Lily, but now it was as if she was seeing _through _her. "Why should I tell you something that no one else on this earth knows?" she asked, quite conversationally, no hoarseness present in her voice, despite that she rarely talked.

Lily blinked, but replied, "Because I care."

"You won't believe me" said Raven simply.

Lily stared at Raven for a minute, before withdrawing her wand from her sleeve. Even this far from Hogwarts, it was on her 24/7. She still half-expected Potter and Black to pop out of no where and hex her. Lily touched her wand to her bed, instantly changing it from blue to green [1]. "I'm not exactly normal myself" she shrugged.

Raven stared at her for a few more minutes, having an internal argument. Finally, she remembered what Setsuna had said. Slowly, she nodded. "Very well" she took a deep breath, and began her tale. From becoming a senshi, to finding the other girls, to the Silver Millennium, to Mamoru, to the Silver Crystal, to all their enemies, to the Outer Senshi, to the shinokage, to Motoki, to their deaths. She kept details short on the murders, giving her only the barest idea of each of their deaths.

The two of them sat in silence for upwards of an hour. Lily occasionally glanced at Raven, opened her mouth to speak then shut it, feeling foolish since she couldn't think of anything to say. And suddenly, she saw Raven in a new light. The quietness wasn't shyness or sadness, it was despair. The mask wasn't to receive pity, it was to hide emotions, to lock them out. And Lily knew that wasn't healthy.

She was about to comment on it when two owls flew in through the window. Both were Hogwarts owls, and left as soon as they dropped the letters. Lily quickly opened the one that had her name on the front and grimaced when she saw all the things she had to buy for her school year. She dumped it on her bed, having joined Raven on the ledge. She picked up the other letter and handed it to Raven. "Seems your Pluto was right" she remarked when she saw the confusion on Raven's face. "A Hogwarts acceptance letter, if I'm not mistaken."

Raven scanned the letter quickly, checking for hidden meanings in the words. There were none. She thought hard for a few moments, before raising her head to meet Lily's eyes. "I'll go" she said slowly. "But it will take time " she trailed off.

Lily nodded, a bright smile on her face. While she still worried about Raven's health, she knew that Headmaster Dumbledore probably could help better than she.

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1 - alright, i know there is the ban on underage wizardry. but if you read the first book carefully, petunia says that lily did magic over the summer. so this is what i decided. because lily is the star pupil of flitwick (charms prof) she's allowed to practice charms at home and there's a barrier around her house that makes it so she can only do it in the house. it will also report to dumbledore what she does so she doesn't decide to hex petunia or something.

R/R PEOPLES!!!!!!!!!


	3. Sorry

****

hey guys, 

sorry to be the bearer of bad news but this story isn't gonna be updated for a while. school started two and a half weeks ago which is what i do monday-friday. on friday afternoons and saturdays i hang with my bf and our crew. i am also starting the fencing club at my school. i will try to update once every two weeks but it might be off! once again, sorry.

lessa of ruatha


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